Como Va?
by Alis Grave Nil
Summary: Happy Feet/Penguins of Madagascar Crossover. Skipper and the boys are in for a huge surprise when a new group of penguins are brought from the wild to the zoo. How will they deal with their contradicting priorities?
1. Prologue

A/N: I watched happy feet yesterday. Three times. I kid you not. And the more I thought about it, the more I thought "I can't believe this hasn't been done already!". So, here we are. Forgive my absolute dorkocity. Now, for everyone who doesn't know.

Ramon: the only one with brown hair.

Raul: the one without a 'hairdo'.

Rinaldo: the one with a black 'flattop'.

Nestor: the one with the spiked up hairdo.

Lombardo: the one with the black Mohawk.

**Como Va?**

**Prologue**

"'Ey, Ramon!"

"Try and keep up, amigos!" The shortest of the five Adelie penguins stood up straight. He sent them a mock salute before dropping backwards off the edge of the icy cliff.

The other four laughed, waddling quickly to the edge. They peered down as their friend slid down the steep slope. "You crazy man!" Lombardo called, only to be pushed by one of the others.

"Let's go!" Nestor cried, and one by one, the last three jumped down.

They slid over slopes and through tunnels, occasionally crashing into one another, but laughing the entire way. Ramon landed first, stumbling clumsily before managing to straighten himself. He held his flippers up proudly, a huge grin on his face. "Beat tha-AH!"

Lombardo crashed into his back, sending him onto his stomach. Nestor than smashed into Lombardo, Raul into Nestor, and Rinaldo into Raul, squishing all five of them together like sardines.

"'Ey, got off me man," Nestor groaned, stuck right in the center.

"Don't pretend like you don't like it," Ramon grunted as he climbed out from beneath the others, shaking the frost from his feathers.

"You're not as irresistible as you think you are, Ramon," Rinaldo smirked, earning an 'OHHH!' from the others.

Ramon didn't mind, laughing with the others. They began to waddle back toward their home, waving their flippers in rhythm with one another. Raul paused, frowning as he spotted a shape in the distance, floating in the ocean.

"Hey guys, look," he spoke up, catching his friends' attention. "It's one of those alien thingies."

"Hey, you're right," Nestor spoke up, blinking. He started toward the ice's edge, followed soon by the other four. It had been months since anyone had seen any sign of the aliens. Since the return of the fish, no one had questioned it. Why bother when the problem had been solved?

They stood at the edge as the aliens' object continued toward them. "Think it's friendly?" Rinaldo asked, glancing over his shoulder at his friends.

"Only one way to find out," came Ramon's response.

They waited until the strange object was close enough for them to see the aliens standing on it. They exchanged glances before they simultaneously began to tap their feet against the ice, creating a steady rhythm. They watched the aliens anxiously for a response. They could hear the aliens communicating with one another, but none knew what they were saying.

"I'm not sure about this guys," Lombardo spoke up hesitantly, taking a step back. "Let's get out of here. They began to step back when suddenly, they saw the aliens point something toward them.

"'Ey, what in the hell is tha-" A huge bang echoed through the air. All five penguins scrambled, unsure of what had just happened. Lombardo yelped, hitting the ice with a hard thud as he felt a sharp pain in the rear.

"These guys are loco!" Ramon cried, hurrying to the fallen penguin to try and help him up.

"What is that?" Rinaldo asked, wrapping his flipper around the sharp object that had hit Lombardo and pulling it out. It had some sort of foreign liquid in it.

Lombardo groaned, trying to push himself up again, but his limbs were too weak. "Hey man, I can't move…" He closed his eyes, lying on his stomach again.

"Lombardo, stay with us, buddy!"

Lombardo didn't hear the other four bangs, or the panicked sounds of his confused friends. He didn't feel the 'aliens' picking them up and placing them in crates. He didn't feel the boat ride from Antartica to South America, or the long flight from South America to New York City.


	2. First Impressions

A/N: Sorry if my Spanish in here sucks, all I have is a translator. XD I barely passed that class with a D+.

**Como Va?**

**Chapter 1: First Impressions**

"_What's the verdict, Kowalski?"_

Kowalski peered down from the roof of the Zoovenir shop, furrowing his brows as he saw Alice. In front of her were five crates that were currently being signed off to her. "It looks like a new shipment of animals," he responded into the two-way radio.

"_Animals? What kind?"_

"Based on the size of the crates-" and the words written on it, of course, but he didn't say that. "I'd have to say… Adelie penguins, Skipper."

There was a brief pause at the other end. Finally, _"How many?"_

Kowalski did quick recount to make sure he'd gotten it right. "Five, sir."

"_Five? Alright Kowalski, get back here."_

The tallest penguin nodded, jumping down from the roof and sliding on his belly back toward the penguin exhibit.

-

"Alright men, fall in!"

They scrambled to line up, stumbling over one another. It'd been some time since Skipper had ordered them into formation, and it took them a whole four minutes to remember how far apart they were supposed to be, and how they were supposed to stand.

Skipper made the mental note to work on that. "Alright boys… Alice is brining in a new shipment of penguins today," he told the others. "Be ready for anything. There's five of them. They may already be a team. Some of them may be higher rank than me."

Private shifted nervously, straightening his back a little bit.

"Now, when Alice gets here, stand straight, and look good, got it?" Skipper asked, his eyes traveling over each of them. After getting a nod from all three, he turned.

About that time, Alice carefully began lifting the crates into the exhibit, grumbling unhappily about how heavy they were. The penguins waited impatiently, curious to know about the newest additions to their exhibit.

Finally, Alice pried open each crate. Skipper raised an eyebrow as one by one, five Adelie penguins tumbled out of their boxes. His shoulders dropped as he realized that every one of them was still asleep. "At ease men," he ordered as the zookeeper carried the empty crates off.

Rico stepped closer to the newest arrivals, leaning down to sniff the closest one. He blinked and straightened himself. "Home."

"Home?" Skipper repeated, raising an eyebrow. Rico was the only one of the team to have been originally born in Antarctica. "Kowalski, analysis!"

Kowalski jumped into action again, plucking a feather from one of the new arrivals backs. He held it up to the light. "Indeed, Skipper. They originated from Antarctica."

Private frowned, leaning in to get a better look. "What's that mean, Skippa'?"

Skipper sighed, putting his flippers on his hips. "It means we might be dealing with some recruits that have no experience at all."

Private blinked, turning his eyes back to the sleeping penguins. Would that mean that he wouldn't be the lowest rank anymore? Part of him was bothered by the idea. Another part of him was relieved that he might not be the one that had to hold regurgitated flashlights anymore.

All four stepped back quickly when one of the new arrivals began to stir. The black feathers on his head were styled into spikes. He opened his eyes slowly, pushing himself onto his flippers. He took in his surroundings, cocking his head to the side. "Ah, man… What is this place?" he asked, his attention turning to the four penguins standing over him.

"New York Central Park Zoo," Skipper responded in a firm tone. The others took that as a sign to line up again. "State your name."

He blinked slowly, staring at Skipper as if he were crazy. "Uh… Nestor?" Nestor sat up, rubbing his rear that was still sore from the needle that had hit him. Wait… the needle. He jumped up, obviously in a panic. Looking around again, he spotted his friends still on the ground. "'Ey, what happened?! ¿Qué demonios es este lugar?"

Skipper raised an eyebrow, watching as the new arrival freaked out (in two languages), trying to nudge the others awake. "Looks like you were captured," he responded calmly.

"Captured?" Nestor's eyes widened. "By the aliens?!"

Kowalski frowned, motioning Skipper over. "Hold that thought," Skipper told Nestor, and all four of the zoosters huddled.

"He probably hasn't seen much outside of Antarctica," Kowalski pointed out. "We may have to explain some things to him and his friends."

Skipper glanced over his shoulder, seeing that Nestor had woken up one of the others, one with (surprisingly) brown feathers decorating his head. He seemed to be trying to explain but Raul (that's what Nestor called him anyways) seemed pretty dazed still.

"Alright men, get to work waking the others."

Private, Kowalski, and Rico nodded, breaking the huddle.

It took them an entire eight minutes to wake the others and calm them down. It was almost frustrating enough for Skipper to want to hit one of them, but he decided against it. In the mean time, they managed to learn each of the Adelie penguins' names.

"'Ey man, I'm so glad you guys are alive!" Ramon cried, pulling the others into a hug.

"Aww man, get off me, Ramon!" Raul grunted, being stuck closest to his over-emotional friend.

Skipper cleared his throat, catching the amigos attentions.

Ramon was the one to step forward. "'Ey man, como va?"

Skipper blinked and Kowalski spoke up, "I believe the direct translation is 'What's up?'"

Shaking his head, the leader focused on the new arrivals again, putting his flippers on his hips. "How many of you actually know what's going on here?" he asked. He immediately regretted it, all five beginning to talk at once about aliens and some guy they called 'fluffy'. Skipper cringed at the cacophony of voices. He could see Rico about ready to take action, and he quickly held a flipper up to stop the manic penguin. "Alright, alright, quiet down!"

He sighed heavily. "You're all at a zoo. Do you know what that is?" There was a long silence and all five of the amigos plopped down, watching Skipper much like small children watched their teacher at school. "It's a place where the humans keep animals locked up for their own sick enjoyment."

Five flippers shot into the air.

"What?" Skipper demanded, clearly annoyed.

"What's a human?" Lombardo asked, cocking his head to the side.

Skipper stared disbelievingly. Surely they'd seen humans before? Even in Antartica? Kowalski cleared his throat and Skipper stepped aside to let him speak. "I believe you know them as 'aliens'."

There was another silence before Nestor spoke up. "So, how we get out of here?"

"That takes careful planning and several months time," the taller penguin answered. "For now, I'm afraid you're stuck here."

They each looked around, taking in their surroundings. The little island in the middle of the pool, the green grass just outside the exhibit, the shining sun. "Well… it's not so bad here," Ramon commented, cocking his head to the side. "Right Amigos?"

"Yeah, I can live with this," Raul agreed. "Lot's of sun."

Skipper shook his head, not quite sure what to make of this whole deal. Obviously, there were some things they'd have to work on here. Private didn't seem quite as worried about it, offering them a huge smile and waddling up to them.

"I'm Private," he told them.

All five of the new arrivals peered down at Private, the smallest of the entire group. "Aww, he's so cute," Rinaldo commented. "He's even shorter than you, Ramon!"

"Like bite-sized!" Raul threw in.

Irritated, Skipper stepped between Private and the amigos. "I'm Skipper," he told them, taking on a harsh tone. "This teams leader. That over there is Kowalski, the strategies expert," Kowalski quickly jumped back into line, saluting. He was followed by the others, "That's Rico, our weapons and explosives expert, and Private is special operations."

The amigos exchanged glances and burst out laughing. Skipper could already tell he wasn't going to like these guys.


	3. Secret Agent

**Como Va?**

**Chapter 2: Secret Agent**

"'Ey man, how'd you get that scar?"

Skipper rubbed his temples tiredly. It had only been half an hour since the amigos arrival and they were already getting on his nerves. Part of him was glad they'd moved on to Rico, but he knew he couldn't let them stay with him long. Not unless he wanted to hide a few bodies.

He was sorely tempted.

Kowalski cleared his throat, stepping between Rico and the amigos. "Rico doesn't talk a lot," he informed them.

"Doesn't talk?" Ramon repeated before snorting lightly. "No way, man, I can make him talk." He was about to step forward, but Nestor and Rinaldo quickly moved to hold him back.

"Whoa Ramon, remember last time you tried to do that?" Nestor asked, grinning. "You were sore for weeks, man!"

Private cocked his head to the side curiously. "What happened?" he asked. Skipper smacked him on the back of the head, hoping he'd learn quickly not to ask them questions.

"Never mind that," the leader said sharply, turning his attention to the amigos. "Is it safe to assume that none of you have proper military training?"

"Training?" Raul repeated, giving a little snort of laughter. "Not unless you count the, 'boom'." He raised a suggestive eyebrow that made Skipper grimace and smack his forehead. Kowalski covered Private's ears.

"'Ey, speaking of which, where are the chicas around here?" Lombardo asked. Immediately, all five began to look around.

"There are none," Skipper answered harshly, narrowing his eyes.

"What?!" came the chorus from every one of the Adelie penguins.

"No chicas?!"

"What's wrong with you man?!"

"Todes ustedes eras loco!"

"Quiet!" Skipper snapped, not sure he could take all of their voices at once without losing it. Especially if they started speaking other languages "Believe me, you're not going to have time anyways, while you're here."

There was a brief silence as the amigos exchanged glances. Hesitantly, Ramon spoke up. "So like… what kind of training? Like secret agents or something?"

"'Ey, secret agents!" Nestor spoke up. "We can do that!"

Raul jumped forward, dropping his head. The others quickly turned around. Skipper stared with something between curiosity and fear. Obviously, they were in perfect unison with one another, almost reading each other's thoughts, but what were they _doing?_

He regretted that question when Raul began to sing.

"_There is a man that leads a life of danger_"

The others began to clap their flippers against their sides in rhythm to the song.

"_To everyone he meets, he stays a stranger_

_With every move he makes_

_Another chance he takes_

_Odds are he won't live to see tomorrow!_"

Glancing over his shoulder, Skipper could see his teammates' expressions. Kowalski looked something between exasperated and amused. Private was obviously entertained. Rico was simply curious. Turning his eyes back, he saw the other amigos join the song for the chorus.

"_Secret agent man, secret agent man!_

_They've given you a number_

_And taken away your name!"_

"Enough!" Skipper cut them off. When they fell silent, looking at him questioningly. "Don't do that. Ever."

"What, you don't like that song?" Lombardo asked. "We have others."

"No! No songs!" Skipper covered his eyes with one flipper. How was it possible that they were worse than that crazed ringtail? Because there were more of them? Because they didn't just _dance_, they actually _sang?_

He paused his thoughts at that, his eyes widening. Julien. He would have to make sure they never met the self-proclaimed lord of the lemurs. That would just end in disaster.

"Uh, what Skipper is trying to say," Kowalski spoke up again, smiling sheepishly at the amigos. "Is that he doesn't like goofing off during such important times.

"Sorry man," Nestor responded. "When the amigos got it going, you can't stop them!"

"Why?" Raul asked and all five of them answered at once.

"Because we're _hot!_" They each made a sizzling sound, wagging their tails.

Kowalski and Private both coughed into their flippers to hide their chuckles, knowing that Skipper wouldn't appreciate it. Rico snickered out loud, earning a glare from the team leader.

"Geez, what a stiff," Ramon grunted, crossing his flippers in a sort of pout. "You need to lighten up, man!" He hopped closer to the other amigos, throwing his flippers around their shoulders and pulling them closer. "We could show you a good time, man! Back home we're the life of the party!"

"No parties!" Skipper answered immediately. He felt a migraine coming on. "Private, take them into the head quarters," he ordered. "Rico, get them something to sleep on."

Both saluted. The amigos each gave their own mock salute before moving to follow Private into the fishbowl entrance.

"'Ey, not bad," Lombardo commented, peering around the headquarters curiously. A lot of it he didn't understand, but that didn't make him any less curious.

"What's this?" Rinaldo asked, stepping up to the TV. He spotted the buttons on it and reached out, pressing a random one in.

He jumped back immediately when a light radiated from the foreign box, illuminating the entire room.

"Oooo," the amigos chorused as a pair of humans appeared on the TV. All five plopped down in front of it, their gaze fixed on the moving pictures, clearly fascinated.

"That's the tele," Private explained, smiling. "The humans use it to entertain themselves." He rather liked these penguins. Sure they were a little strange, but they were fun.

Rico regurgitated five blankets and five pillows, just dropping them on the ground. Turning his head, he spotted what was on TV. _Mythbusters._ One of his favorite shows.

When Skipper and Kowalski climbed down the ladder 10 minutes later, they spotted seven penguins sitting around the TV, and Kowalski was quite sure nothing would pull their attention away.

Skipper groaned, rolling his eyes. "Kowalski, options."

Kowalski pulled out his clipboard, beginning to scribble down ideas. "We could get rid of them and dispose of the bodies in the polar bear exhibit."

Skipper tapped his beak in thought, seriously considering it, but… "What else you got?"

"Well… we could train them," Kowalski shrugged. "They'd make a good team, they're already synchronized with one another." He smiled playfully. "In actions and song."

The leader sent Kowalski a dirty look and the taller penguin cleared his throat, trying to cover up his chuckle again. "Any other options?"

"That's all we have until we figure out a plan to get them back. If that's what we do, that is," Kowalski responded carefully.

Skipper glanced toward the amigos. He could see each of their tails wagging as they watched Jamie and Adam blow something up on TV. "Definitely." Sighing, "They'll get up with us in the morning."

Kowalski nodded, giving a small salute. There was a brief silence before the strategies expert smiled nervously. "Uh Skipper, do you think I could, uh…"

Skipper rolled his eyes. "Go."

Kowalski grinned and nodded, moving to join the others in front of the TV.


	4. Lovers Quarrel

A/N: Alright, there's a little Skipper/Marlene in here just for Esperata. xD And now that it's there, it will probably develop more throughout the story. –shrugs-

**Como Va?**

**Chapter 3: Lovers Quarrel**

Skipper watched proudly as each of his men lined up, their flippers held at their sides and their backs straight. He turned his gaze to the new recruits, grimacing when he saw them all leaning on each other. They didn't even look to be awake.

He made a little motion to his team and Private grinned, remembering this from when he first started his own training. All three stepped up to the sleepy penguins.

"Three… two…"

The amigos cried out as they were shoved into the water, each kicking and swinging their flippers in a panic. Skipper rolled his eyes, waiting calmly as they slowly realized what had happened and began to climb out.

"'Ey man, what's your problem?" Nestor demanded, shaking the water from his feathers. "You got something against a good night's sleep?"

"I have something against my new recruits slacking off," Skipper answered easily. "Maybe you guys need a few laps around the zoo to wake up."

"I ain't running anywhere!" Ramon answered, glaring. "I'm going back to bed!"

Skipper had been hoping they'd say that. He smirked. "Rico."

Rico chuckled and regurgitated a chainsaw that was already buzzing with life. The amigos' eyes widened. "What is that thing?" Raul asked.

"A chainsaw," Kowalski explained, smiling calmly. "Humans use it to cut through things like tree trunks…Or each other, on special occasions." He cleared his throat. "I suggest you start running."

No more questions were asked. All five of the Adelie penguins hopped out of the exhibit and began running as fast as their little legs could carry them. Skipper shook his head, watching as Rico started after them to make sure that no one slacked off.

"Think you're going a little hard on them, Skippa'?" Private asked as he waddled up next to the leader.

"Letting Rico use a long-range weapon would be hard on them," Skipper answered, grinning.

-

The amigos groaned, dragging themselves back into the headquarters. The zoo was closed to day, and Skipper had used the entire day to make sure they'd never question his authority again. "Man, that guy is loco!" Ramon complained, just finding a nice place to collapse on the floor, staring at the ceiling.

A few groans and grunts were the only response he got from his friends. Private smiled sympathetically at them, remembering well what it was like being the new one, having no clue what you're doing. He brought each of them a fish coffee. "Skippa's not so bad," he told them.

Lombardo sipped his drink, making a face. It was bitter, but at the same time, strangely good. He took another sip. "Trust me, niño, he's bad."

Private smiled slightly. The amigos had taken to calling him that. Kowalski had told him it meant 'child'. "He's not," the youngest penguin insisted. "He's like this to all new recruits, but it gets better."

"How long will that take?" Rinaldo asked. "'Cause I can't take this much longer."

"There's no definite time limit," Kowalski told them as he slid down the ladder. "It all depends on how fast all of you are willing to follow his orders and put effort into your training."

Another series of groans told him that could take a while.

"Er… also," Private added in, "You don't want to complain when Skippa' is around. He'll just make it harder, okay?"

Yet another chorus of groans.

"Hey guys."

Private and Kowalski turned their heads, both smiling as they spotted a familiar otter. "Hello Marlene," Private greeted cheerfully. "What're you doing here?"

"Well," Marlene answered, raising an eyebrow as she saw the Adelie penguins slowly beginning to push themselves off the ground, "I heard we got some new animals, so I wanted to stop by and say hello." She blinked as she felt all eyes shift to here.

Kowalski raised an eyebrow, watching the amigos moods lift instantly. He didn't understand until Ramon scrambled to his feet, moving well into her personal bubble. "Hola chica," he greeted. "Might I say… you are the most beautiful creature I've seen around here."

Marlene blinked again, not sure whether to be annoyed or flattered. "Uh… thanks? And you are…?"

"Ramon," he responded easily. "But you may call me… your lover."

Annoyed it was. Marlene rolled her eyes, pushing him aside. "Yeah, no. I don't think so."

"Ooo, shot down!" Rindaldo snickered. The amigos (with the exception of Ramon) all made a long whistling sound and a 'boom'. A representation of a plane crash, Kowalski assumed.

Private giggled softly, obviously finding their antics amusing. Ramon wasn't the least bit phased by the rejection. "Don't be afraid," he cooed, moving in front of her again, and stepping obnoxiously close. "I do not bite. Unless you like that, of course."

"Ugh," Marlene pushed him away again, putting her paws on her hips and Kowalski moved to cover Private's ears again.

"What's he doing now?" Skipper asked as he and Rico slid down the ladder.

"Trying to woo Marlene, I believe," Kowalski answered with an amused smirk.

"What?" Skipper asked, growling and putting his flippers on his hips. "Geez man, don't you have any dignity?"

"Hey!" Marlene turned to face him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Skipper blinked, realizing how that sounded now that he went over it in his head. "That's not what I meant."

"What did you mean?" she asked, raising an expectant eyebrow.

"Uh-"

"Ooo!" the amigos chorused.

"You in trouble man!" Lombardo chortled.

"Lover's quarrel!" Ramon threw in. "No wonder she didn't want me."

"Yeah Ramon," Nestor snickered. "That's it."

"We're not lovers!" Skipper snapped, glaring at Kowalski and Rico as they did their best to keep from laughing. "Marlene, I didn't-" Marlene rolled her eyes, ignoring them. Instead she decided to turn an leave. Ramon seemed to decide it was time to sing again.

"_Baby come back, any kind of fool can see!  
There was something in everything about you!"_

Skipper growled, grabbing the nearest object (Kowalski's clipboard), and hurling it at Ramon. Ramon was hit, but that didn't stop the amigos from joining in.

"_Baby come back, you can blame it all on me!  
I was wrong, and I just can't live without you!"_

"Rico!"

The manic penguin was still snickering, but he knew better than to disobey. He regurgitated his chainsaw again. The amigos yelped and scrambled to get the hell out of there.

"What happened?" Private asked as his ears were uncovered again.

Kowalski opened his mouth to answer, but a glare from Skipper silenced him. The leader answered instead, "Nothing happened."


End file.
